The Worst: Annoying Fans

Public Enemy #1

So, tonight I went to see the Bronx Bombers live for the last time before I go back to school and I was hyped walking into the stadium. It was Yankees-Red Sox, a big game any time these guys meet regardless of record, and I was going with my dad and little bro. What is better than that? On top of this we got to witness another gem by Hiroki Kuroda on the bump, and two "yahtzees" by Ichiro in a 4-1 victory for the Yanks. Everything sounds fantastic and it should have been, but it wasn't.

A group of people in the row behind us were throwing some back watching the game. This doesn't bother me at all, you're at a baseball game, in America, beer only makes it more American. What did bother me on the other hand, was all of the nonsense that came out of these guys' mouths. They were with their girls, so they may have been trying to show off their knowledge of baseball while also trying to be big funny guys, but I literally took offense to what these guys were saying in their attempt to display their wisdom.

Here are just a few of the remarks I remember from the game, and no I did not make any of these things up. It started on the first pitch of the whole game. Kuroda fired a strike in, which apparently caused a chain reaction for one of the guys sitting behind us to let out some sort of war cry that sounded like someone dropped a fork down a garbage disposal, but louder. This was also our little amateur umpire's way of calling a "strike." Now maybe if he did this once, or even twice I'll let it go, but no, this guy was doing it throughout the whole game.

Next, one of the guys was maybe preparing for an upcoming color commentary tryout with these catch phrases he was just unloading onto the people around him. I swear every time there were two strikes on a Boston hitter he would scream, "wrap 'em up!" As if that was his way of saying, "strike him out!" That literally has never been used anywhere outside of Santa's workshop. On top of this, every time Kuroda threw anything that resulted in a swinging strike, the same guy said Kuroda was throwing his "Mexican Jumping Bean pitch." Yeah dude, I'm sure after the game Russell Martin gets interviewed about Kuroda's stuff and says, "He pitched really well, he spotted his Mexican Jumping Bean on both sides of the plate tonight..." No, shut up.

Einstein number three was maybe the slowest one out of the bunch and he was a Red Sox fan so I guess that explains it. First off, the guy got owned by the rest of his friends when he saw a sign that said, "Our Hiro." Now before opening his mouth, he should have thought for a second and realized that since it is a homemade sign, it is probably a play on words. Just like every other sign in the history of signs. Then he would have seen that Hiroki Kuroda was on the mound and put two and two together (I hope) and saw that was a nickname. But no, instead he opened his stupid face and screamed, "THEY SPELT HERO WRONG! CLASSIC NEW YORKERS!" Since when are we known for spelling errors? Anyways, after he was confronted about his lack of common sense, he then showed his true Boston colors by calling Dustin Pedroia "Petey" for the rest of the game. Now I knew this was a nickname before, because I remember Terry Francona used to call him that in interviews and I'd have no clue who he was talking about. But how dumb is that nickname. "Ped" sounds nothing like "Pete" but I'll drop it because there's still one more perpetrator.

This last guy was the one who made me the most mad. This was because he actually assessed baseball situations as if he knew what he was talking about, but in reality he was just like the rest of 'em. Early in the game, Yankee Eric Chavez was up at the plate with the bases loaded and a 3-0 count with 1 out. Now, if any of you have ever played baseball or even watched, you'd realize that the batter looks down at his third base coach and receives signals that have already been relayed from the manager to the third base coach. So any sign goes through the head coach. Well, Chavez apparently got the green light to swing at a strike to maybe blow the game open but instead swung and popped it up. The guy behind me went absolutely nuts yelling about how if the Yankees lost it's Chavez's fault, and that you never ever swing 3-0. This only tells me one thing about this guy. And that is that he must have batted ninth and played right back in his day, if they even let him on the field. He definitely stood at the edge of the batter's box while at the plate, praying a strike never came so he could walk and get a chance to run the bases. Awful. On top of this Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett walked the batter before Chavez to load the bases. The batter was Curtis Granderson and he stepped in with runners on first and second also with one out. So the double play is obviously already in line, but after Granderson walked, the bases were loaded and the double play was still and always was an option. The guy behind us had no clue telling everyone around him that the walk was a smart move by Beckett because he now set up the double play, which apparently wasn't allowed when Granderson was up. Once he said that, my dad actually turned to me and whispered, "We're moving if he says anything like that again."

One Last Thing: Sorry this is so long, but I am sure many of you can relate to this situation. If you can, comment some good one-liners that you've heard at games that you want to share, don't be afraid.